I have demons in me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
