Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
