i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
