whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
