My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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