well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
