3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
