I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
