We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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