Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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