he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
