No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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