He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
