I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
