You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
