your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
