You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
