I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize