I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The air taste purple.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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