He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
