that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i believe in u and ur pee
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
