I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
