My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
