well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
