Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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