Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
