what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
