i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
