Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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