ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
