Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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