He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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