Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
