Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
