Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we should paint friendship bongs
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