The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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