every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
