I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
