Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
