Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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