worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
