DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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