I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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