it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
