my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
