just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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