I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
