In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Duck Duck Cougar?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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