ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
