so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I need to sanitize my soul.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
