Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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