He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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