i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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