Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
