You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
