Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
